Friday, October 17, 2014

Tinder conversations

This is probably the overstatement of the year.... (photo credit)

So... I have Tinder. Not because I'm looking for a random hook up, but just because I'm bored. Honestly, to me it's just a game. I like talking to people and that seemed like an easy way to do it.

I can definitely say I have met some straaaaange people on this app. I've also had some pretty funny conversations. So I thought I would share some of these conversations!

Him: Do you come with the elephant?
Me: Lol I wish!
Him: Where do you get one, and why did you not keep it?
Me: In Thailand, and because they're too big to bring back in my suitcase.
Him: I would have it fl-- elephants can fly, right?
Me: I think so yeah. This one was really shy though. Something about having little wings....
Him: Dang, that sucks so much. Had an elephant and it wouldn't fly you home...


Him: Show me your elbows!


Him: I'll give you a rundown of my big move: I invite you for drinks at whatever local dump appeals to both of us*, you agree enthusiastically. We meet up, I charm you with my wit, you charm me with your exposed cleavage, I suggest we leave the bar. We head to a park (how convenient and romantic.) and proceed to get just drunk enough that if we were too hook up, there,d be no inhibition. We then head to my place, because I cleverly manipulated you into choosing a bar close to my house (note the * in the third line) and I introduce you to my cat. You're impressed that I still live at home. I'm impressed that your clothes are still on, you must be special, not like those other whores. We then proceed to my basement couch where we make vague thrusting motions on each other till I finish, (you probably won't have the chance) then I call you a cab. (It'll be easy to get one since it's four in the morning). At this point we say goodbye, only for you to wake up the next morning slightly disappointed with yourself!


Him: What are you studying?
Me: German and Film
Him: Oh I don't like that.

Even though *most* guys on there are just plain weird, there have definitely been some exceptions. I actually met two guys from there and they are definitely not weirdos (at least not the bad kind, because let's face it, we are all weirdos.)

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