20 Things to Never Ask or Tell a Runner

For some reason, running seems to be a complete mystery to most people. Whenever I mention that I run, I always get the same questions or comments.... Have you people never run before or what?!
Anyway, for those of you who know someone who runs, here are a few tips on things to not say to us. Unless you want some dirty looks.

1. How long is this marathon gonna be?
The same length as every marathon....?
42.195 km or 26.385 miles

2. Don't you get bored?
No, don't you get bored lifting weights at the gym?

3. You're almost there!
Trust me, I know EXACTLY how far away I am, don't tell me I'm almost done!

4. You run? Oh I hate running.
Trust me, I do too sometimes.

5. Running isn't good for you. It's going to ruin your knees.
I'll take my chances.

6. Are you fast?
Compared to Usain Bolt...?

7. What if you get lost?
Well mile markers and big crowds usually help... or you know, the GPS in my cellphone.

8. Why would you pay to run a marathon?
The money usually always goes to a charity and someone has to pay for the road closures, police and permits!

9. You don't look like a runner.
What the **** does that mean?!

10. You ran a marathon? Did you win?
Of course! Me and the 10,000 other people who crossed the finish line.

11. What are you running from?
I'm running away from dumb questions.

12. How do you even train for a marathon? Do you just run it a bunch of times?
You slowly build up the milage. You can't just run a marathon every week to "practice."

13. Running is easy. Barely even a sport.
Is that why it's in the Olympics?

14. Don't you get tired?
Obviously, I do, but it's called stamina.

15. I would love to run too, but I just don't have the time.
An hour run is 4% of your day. I'm 100% sure you can manage it.

16. How do you hurt yourself running?
Oh honey, if you only knew.

17. How come you're not losing weight?
BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY!

18. Your life can go back to normal, now, right?
hahahahahahaha no. I've already registered for another race. It never ends.

19. Why do you spend so much on running shoes? Can't you just get Sketchers or something?
Running shoes is our only real equipment, and it's a matter of life or death, so of course we are gonna spend whatever it takes to have the best for our feet.

20. If it rains, will the cancel the race?
Running in any weather is just what we do! A little light rain is always welcome on a hot marathon day.

There you have it! I mean, you can definitely ask all your silly questions, but you've been warned!